Career Quandaries

A career quandary is a decision point when we are faced with a fork in the road that is our career path. There may be clear choices available or there may be enormous levels of uncertainty about what the choices even are. Whatever the case, the future is unknown so the choices we face fill us with a certain amount of anxiety

Career quandaries occur for most of us at some point in our working lives. There is often a trigger that surfaces questions about the direction our career should take. It can be a general feeling of being unsettled, a potential opportunity that arises, a promotion possibility or perhaps a desire to just do something completely different. It can arise as part of an overall reassessment of who we are and what we want to do with our lives.

In most cases, what makes the decision a quandary is that there are potential trade-offs to be considered. If the decision was a “no-brainer” then the question of what to do wouldn't even arise. Career quandaries force us to make choices between alternative futures and, needless to say, we don’t want to make a choice that might see us walk away from a potentially better alternative. There is the constant fear of missing out on some other unlived life.

For example, a job might be attractive in terms of salary and challenge but this may have to be balanced with a reduction in work-life balance. Or there are aspects of one’s current role that remain very attractive and one in grappling with whether it is worth giving these up in order to pursue another job elsewhere. Of course, there may be no clear future role defined and the quandary is very much a “what next?” question.

While these quandaries are unsettling, they nevertheless offer a valuable opportunity to step back and take stock of what it is that inspires us, what really ignites our passion and what is most important to us.

Why work with a coach?

Firstly, it’s important to be clear that a coach is not a career advisor. He or she is not there to tell the client what to do or what they are best at; the role of the coach is to help the client to make the best possible decision themselves. The coach is there to offer a balance of challenge and support, to help the client to explore their uncertainty and to avoid rushing into solution mode too quickly. In this regard, there is enormous value in sitting with the uncertainty, what Keats called negative capability. The coach provides a safe place for this opportunity to be explored, to uncover blind spots and to question what was previously unquestioned. There should be no “default” option; even if the client decides to remain in a current role for example, this needs to be an active choice and not just something to be settled for. So, regardless of the actual decision made, the outcome from coaching is a firm decision. If the coach and client have worked well together then the decision made will be the best possible decision and one that the client is committed to pursuing.

The Coaching Process

In my own practice I generally propose 2 to 3 one-hour coaching sessions with a gap of about 2 weeks between sessions. What is important to emphasise is that this is an overall end-to-end process that includes the face-to-face sessions but also requires the client to put in work between sessions. The coaching sessions provide momentum and focus for the entire coaching engagement but there are just one element. In this regard, the client commits to putting in a considerable amount of effort between the coaching sessions. This work is also important for the client to reflect on after the coaching are complete. Invariably there will be times of doubt in the future so it is reassuring to look back over the work complete to remind the client of how they reached their career decision. This also allows the client to factor in new information that arises or assumptions that need to be revisited.

Finally

David Whyte in his book “Crossing the Unknown Sea” referred to work as a pilgrimage of identity. In this regard, he was pointing out two key ideas. Firstly, that work is part of our identity, how we define ourselves, how we wish to be viewed by ourselves and others. Secondly, work is a pilgrimage, a journey that for us has meaning. As with a pilgrimage, it is the journey and not the destination that is important. Taking time to think about that journey is time well spent. Work is just one part of one’s life and, while an important part, it must always be placed in the broader context of who we are and who we want to be. To borrow another quotation “how we spend our days is how we spend our lives”.